When it doesn’t go as planned

I recently had my 24th birthday (I know, how young 😉 ) and I had planned this 24 hour extravaganza of 24 hour food and fun, yet when it came to the day, I got a fever which then resulted in gastro leaving me sick and at home. It had definitely not gone as planned.

I was devastated.

I had been anticipating this event for over 3 months and in the end, it had gone westward. I think i handled my disappointment well, however this got me thinking about how we react and deal with things when they don’t go our way. Whether it be a birthday, a job, a relationship or even an election, how we handle the situation makes it even the more better or worse.

I’m not one to dwell on things despite my dwelling nature. I don’t think it prudent to obsess over a particular fact or statement, especially if I can’t do anything to change it. It’s a strange comfort I find in knowing that what is done is done and come the next time to be able to do something about it, I will be ready.

So why is it that so many of us are so quick to have a massive sook if things don’t go our way? I understand disappointment and frustration, especially if there has been a lot of work involved but to blatantly deny what has occurred, just because you don’t like it, or focus on how it didn’t go your way is not good for you or for anyone else.

I think as a society we’re very much one of entitlement. And unfortunately, this leaves no room for failure.

We need to learn to accept the unacceptable because otherwise our lives will be in a state of constant tension, drama and anarchy – because guess what? Not everyone will always agree.

Don’t take me saying accept things as a justification for not doing anything about it. But if you know your actions are not going to bring about actionable change then let things go. I didn’t plan on getting sick for my birthday and nothing I do now will change that. I have to accept that it didn’t go my way and plan for the future – well, as much as I can ; )

Don’t let things get you down if they don’t go as planned. Being in denial rather than moving towards change won’t make things any better. Sometimes you have to make do with what you have.

Cheers,
The1lit

 

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Thought of the day

“Transformation in vision and consciousness will automatically create favourable circumstances”

How often do you want something, but realise it’ll take a bit of hard work and effort so you decide you don’t really want it anymore?

Unfortunately I’ve done it more times than I’d care to admit!

I see or think of something that I want or want to do and as soon I see that it won’t happen straight away or I won’t get it straight away, I come up with excuses as to why it’s better that I don’t get it or do it.

Like baking a cake. I want to eat cake. I want to bake a cake – but can I really be bothered mixing a few ingredients together and then putting them in the oven? Usually the answer is no.

Recently, I have found that optimism is a virtue we as a society don’t work enough to spread and maintain. It’s quite easy to say, “be optimistic” or “see the silver lining” but in practice it is much harder. When you have a back breaking job, miserable friends or if you’re terminally ill, optimism is hard to come by.

Yet the wonders it can do for you when you apply yourself and commit to seeing the best in everything will truly transform your life and create favourable circumstances.

the1lit - candle - optimism - thought of day

I’ve seen and been on both ends of the optimistic spectrum and let me tell you that when you are down low and can’t see the sky, you have to find it in yourself to consciously make the decision that you will not be put down by what has been chucked at you. You have to choose to make that conscious effort to see the light, because once you do it will shine brighter and bolder.

Will it be easy? Ironically no. Being optimistic all the time is by far one of the most difficult things to do and it takes a lot of hard work. But If ever in your life you have wanted to strive for something, strive for optimism. Transform that negativity into positivity – the world will thank you for it and become a better place because of it.

I truly do believe that transforming how you see the world changes your life. Just make sure your vision isn’t darkened, rather transformed so it can always catch even the faintest ray of light.

Keep choosing

The1lit - bloggingWhen I would come across blogs that described people’s days, hobbies and thoughts, I would immediately think, why? Why are you allowing people from all corners of the earth to invade your private thoughts? Why do they need to know about your life?

Recently, it came to my attention or rather I finally let myself worry over the possibility that I may never truly know what it is that I want to do with my life. I have been spoiled with choice my entire existence I was afraid that I was going to make the wrong decision.

I am most definitely not ungrateful ,and talking to people, many people has made me realise that this crippling fear is something that haunts us all, more so than generations before us.  Along with realising that this daunting task of making choices for your future is supported by insurmountable pressure, it dawned on me that this sharing of stories is somewhat therapeutic. We come from all walks of life yet face the same task and ultimately we will all have different outcomes of failure and success – which is where the fear stems from. We all want success.

This fear of failing is stopping us from living our lives. we’re stuck in this rut of ‘what if that’s not what i want?’ , “what if I don’t like it?’ ‘what if it takes too long?’, what if ? what it? what if? Two little words when put together can change the course of one’s life.  Talking to not only my friends but friendly strangers, I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of of people that make up this fear category.

The first group encompasses those who give up on their dream before they’ve even started and settle for something because it’s ‘safe and ‘secure’. The second group is where I am… or was. The second group consists of those who for the life of them can’t make any decisions. They think they know what they want but keep on changing until ultimately they’re 40 or 50 and haven’t really ever taken a chance on anything because they didn’t want to choose the wrong thing! In the end not choosing anything was wrong. Finally, the third group consists of those few who know what they want and even with fear go for it. It includes those who decide to select something even though it may not be for them and those who just choose.

I have chosen. I have chosen. I have chosen.

I have chosen to pursue something that not only will gratify me but I know that even if i don’t end up liking it, I will be ok in choosing something else. I will keep on choosing until my discerning has brought me to what it is I am meant to do with my life, and who knows, my first choice may be the right one for me 🙂

Keep on choosing, and explore with people. Ultimately, we’re all in it together.

the1lit - seville

 

Images
1 Unsplash
2 © Christina Guzman