The power of Kindness

“Kindness is like snow–it beautifies everything it covers.”

CROFT M. PENTZ, The Complete Book of Zingers

What would you do if someone started insulting you? Would you insult them back? Would you think of even harsher words to hurl at them just so that they can feel twice the pain you feel or will feel later on?

I don’t have much admiration for people who try to put a fire out with more fire – they are what help burn the forest and houses down faster.

Am I saying that it’s entirely their fault? No, but when you’re in a situation where you have the power and control to cease a fire, why is it that so many of us elongate its life?

Why do so many of us feel that if we allow our pride to disappear for a bit we have lost? Since when has being kind ever been a loss?

I am a firm believer that Kindness will always lead to good things – no matter how long it takes. And that’s the thing; so many of us are incredibly impatient, that once we do show kindness it somehow makes up for all the times we haven’t been and should be more than enough. However, like most things in life we have to work at it.

I don’t proclaim to be the kindest person in the world but I know many people who struggle with the idea of being kind to someone who isn’t to them.

Recently, as all people do, I have been concerned with the fractures and divisions caused along the timeline of history. While many of these were born from complicated and deep issues, I believe that at the core of these problems was the absence of kindness.

Along with the absence of kindness is the absence of memory. The amount of times I have wronged someone, I really have no right to start hurling things at other people.

That’s not to say that when someone wrongs you, you don’t deserve an apology, but keep in mind that like you they are not perfect and deserve the same amount of kindness you do. At the end of the day it’s up to you whether that’s nothing at all.

I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

Dear Luisito,

It’s been a long week without you, how are you? I hope you’re doing infinitely better now ❤

I still can’t believe you’re not here anymore, it feels so surreal. But I’m so glad that you’re in paradise enjoying all the love and hope you deserve. I realise that I didn’t verbally let you know how dear you were to me, but I know that actions speak louder than words and I hope that through my actions you knew that I cared and loved you. 

Even though I can’t see your face, I know that you are here listening (and reading) so I’d like to take the chance to tell you few things – just in case you don’t already know 😉 

You are my friend and always will be. I know we didn’t get forever like most friends do and I think that’s one of the things that pains me the most – the loss of a wonderful forever with you. After our first chat, I developed a map and timeline in my head about where we were going to go, what we were going to do and the memories we were going to create – Alas, that will no longer be, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that we shared great moments with so much laughter, honesty and love. I won’t forget, I promise.

I’m grateful. I am so grateful to have known such a beautiful person. Not only that, I’m so grateful that I got to know you. Not the persona you put on, but the you who was kind, gentle, incredibly intelligent and just pure niceness. You’re parents seriously did such an amazing job with you. You made it so easy to be weird and myself. It’s true when they say that time isn’t the measure of a friendship, rather the quality of the time you share.

You were amazing. Yep, you were amazing. Your laugh, your ukulele skills, your brain – the way you knew so many things was inspiring – especially coding! OMG you know I thought that was the coolest thing ever 😉 You have changed my life for the better and not a day will go by where my heart won’t miss that smile of yours.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through so much pain and sorrow. I’m sorry I couldn’t shine enough light for you to hold onto. I’m sorry I didn’t grab onto you in Grade 6 and never let go. But as I said, I am so grateful for the time we did get 🙂 

You had such a loving heart Luis, and I know that you are in a better place now, looking down on us, laughing at all the stupid stuff that we do and say. You will always be in my prayers, thoughts and in whatever I do: whether it be going to Bled, making my home a fish tank or eating lettuce, tomatoes and corn. So be at peace now, we will all take care of each other.

Even though I don’t when it’ll be, get ready – that massive hug is coming your way. 

Until I see you again,
Christina

In loving memory of Luis Jose Vega
❤
Rest In Peace my Friend
See you soon

 

I DON’T KNOW

I don’t know.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s the start of the year. I don’t know if it’s because I just got back from my holiday. I don’t know if it’s because I will have to make some tough, definite decisions about my life this year… I don’t know.

I seriously have no answers to any of my questions.

Can I even blog? I don’t know

I’ve been thinking of a blog post lately – wondering about what it is I’ll say, what it is I will resolve, what conclusion I’ll come to upon reflecting on what I’m saying. But honestly, I haven’t come to any conclusions. I think about things and don’t have an answer. I feel things and I don’t know what I’m feeling. I speak to people and I make up some airy-fairy response about what I’m doing when in reality I’m lost and I need to be given a push. I need to be guided instead of do the guiding.

I am known as a reasonable and logical person amongst my friends (albeit me being plain crazy). I give reasonable, calculated and ethically (according to me 😉 ) correct advice. Yet when it comes to me, I can’t apply the same logic – so how logical and reasonable am I really? Do I even know what I’m saying to them when I say it? I don’t know.

So far this year has been great, but oddly ominous. Not much has changed in terms of day to day routine but everything has shifted. There’s an air of trepidation that I can’t shake – and I don’t know why – have I lost you yet? I am clearly rambling from my lack of not knowing things.

I started this post thinking I’d get an answer – an epiphany. I guess that only happens in the movies. But this is life and life is challenging, especially when you can’t see where your choices are taking you.

So, I look forward to the day when I get out of this tumultuous wave of possibility & doubt and enter the calmness of an open sea. When will that be? Who knows. Or rather I don’t know.

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